Building your village: Online & In-person communities for New parents

Parenting and transitioning into parenthood doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We all need a support system to help us in the tough moments and to celebrate us in the best moments. One of the most common things I hear in therapy with clients is their desire for a village of people around them that they feel they can trust. There are several types of supports to consider when building a village. There are formal, informal, and community supports.

Informal Supports

When you think about your family and friends and who you would trust to watch your child or show up and help in the event of a big life change or emergency, who comes to mind?

These are your informal supports. They are the people around you, who are there because you have a relationship with them. They aren’t getting paid and aren’t there for a specific situations.

Formal Supports

Formal supports are those people in your circle who you have built around you intentionally and you have a professional-only relationship with. This includes your birthing team. Your OB, birthing class instructor, lactation consultant, therapist, doula, pediatrician, childcare provider etc are all examples of formal supports.

Who are your formal supports and how do you anticipate using them during pregnancy and in your first year postpartum.

Online & Nationwide Communities

Postpartum Support International - Free weekly support groups, hotline, provider directory.

La Leche League - Breastfeeding support; online and in-person groups around the country.

MOPS - Moms of Preschoolers - In-person groups around the country.

r/Parenting - Subreddit for all things parenting. There are also subreddits for working moms, toddlers, and just about anything else you can think of.

Communities: Indianapolis Indiana

CityMoms of Indianapolis - Both free and paid membership options. Online community, facebook group, and in-person events and playdates.

Community Hospital Groups - In-person free breastfeeding groups at 4 locations in and around Indianapolis.

How to find local communities in your area

There are likely online or in-person groups local to where you are.

Search Facebook Groups - Consider your hobbies, parenting styles or situations, and your location. There are plenty of groups on Facebook for everything to breastfeeding, bottle feeding, gentle parenting, vegan parenting, minimalist moms - you name it, it probably exists. Do some searching online for groups that resonate with your values, interests and location (if you’re in a rural area, consider searching for moms in the largest city closest to you).

Ask your friends & providers - Some of the best communities I’ve been a part of have been through word of mouth. Small meetups may be happening in your area that your doula, parent friends or OB are aware of. Ask the next time you see them!

Look for a Support Group Near You - Psychology Today has groups you can search for in your area.

Urgent Support - PSI Hotline and Maternal Mental Health Hotline exist to help support parents as they need.

Remember: You are Not Alone!

Accept help. Ask for help. Lean into the vulnerable and make a post in your local parenting community; ask about local parent groups, playdates, and connection.

Consider who your people ARE currently and who you want them to be in the next season of your life.

And if you need support talking through your village, reach out!